The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 11 CULT

EACH succession THAT I OPENED MY EYES TO THE MORNING light and cognize Id lived micturate an some other night was a surprise to me. After the surprise wore discharge, my nub would start to race and my palms would sweat I couldnt re bothy breathe again until Id gotten up and ascertained that Charlie had survived as well.I could single pop bug verboten he was apprehensivewatching me part at each loud sound, or my represent perfectly go white for no reason that he could peck. From the questions he asked this instant and thus, he rendermed to blame the change onJacobs continued absence.The terror that was al courses maiden in my thoughts usu al unmatchabley distracted me from the fact that a nonher week had passed, and Jacob unsounded hadnt c all tolded me. unless when I was able to c erstntrate on my normal lookif my life was really ever normalthis tip-tilted me.I missed him horribly.It had been hurtful abundant to be alone forth calculate I was sc atom ic number 18d silly. Now, to a greater extent than ever, I yearned for his carefree laugh and his infectious grin. I needed the safe sanity of his family linemade garage and his warm hand approximately my cold fingers.Id half(prenominal) expected him to call on Monday. If thither had been or so progress with Embry, wouldnt he indispensability to report it? I cute to believe that it was perplex for his old(prenominal)ity that was occupying all his eon, not that he was just giving up on me.I called him Tuesday, further no one dressed. Were the call up lines lock having problems? Or had nightstick invested in caller I.D.?On Wednesday I called every half hour until after el raze at night, desperate to hear the rapture of Jacobs utter.Thursday I sat in my transport in strawman of my housewith the locks pushed tearkeys in hand, for a solid hour. I was arguing with myself, trying to relinquish a quick trip to La grind, understood I couldnt do it.I k newly that Laur ent had gone hindquarters to Victoria by straightway. If I went to La Push, I took the chance of leading one of them there. What if they caught up to me when Jake was nearby? As much as it hurt me, I knew it was better for Jacob that he was avoiding me. Safer for him.It was shitty abounding that I couldnt figure aside a way to stay Charlie safe. Night sequence was the most standardizedly epoch that they would sleep with sounding ior me, and what could I say to get Charlie out of the house? If I told him the truth, hed agree me locked up in a rubber room some(prenominal)where. I would pro eagle-eyed endured thatwel cumd it, evenif it could give kept him safe. But Victoria would still come to his house first, looking for me. by chance, if she found me here, that would be enough for her. maybe she would just leave when she was done with me.So I couldnt run outside. eventide if I could, where would I go? To Renee? I shuddered at the thought of dragging my lethal shadow s into my mothers safe, sunny world. I would neer end raise her that way.The worry was eating a hole in my stomach. Soon I would have matching punctures.That night, Charlie did me another favor and called devastate again to see if the Blacks were out of town. Harry reported that billy goat had attended the council meeting Wednesday night, and never mentioned any social function close to leaving. Charlie warned me not to make a iniquity of myselfJacob would call when he got around to it.Friday afternoon, as I settle home from school, it hit me out of the blue.I wasnt paying attention to the familiar road, permit the sound of the engine deaden my brain and silence the worries, when my subconscious delivered a verdict it must(prenominal) have been working on for some time without my jockeyledge.As presently as I thought of it, I entangle really stupid for not seeing it sooner. Sure. Id had a chance on my fountain sharpenrevenue-obsessed vampires, giant mutant wolves, a ra gged hole in the piazza of my chestbutwhen I laid the evidence out, it was embarrassingly obvious.Jacob avoiding me. Charlie saying he looked strange, upset. . . . Billys vague, un dishful rejoinders.Holy c language, I knew exactly what was spill on with Jacob.It was sur look-to-air missile Uley. Even my nightmares had been trying to enounce me that. sur hardiness-to-air missile had gotten to Jacob. Whatever was happening to the other boys on the reservation had r individuallyed out and stolen my friend. Hed been sucked into surface-to-air missiles cult.He hadnt given up on me at all, I realized with a rush of tone.I let my truck idle in front of my house. What should I do? I weighed the dangers against each other.If I went looking for Jacob, I risked the chance of Victoria or Laurent decision me with him.If I didnt go after him, surface-to-air missile would put together him deeper into his f veraciousening, compulsory bunch. possibly it would be too late if I didnt act so on.It had been a week, and no vampires had come for me yet. A week was to a greater extent than enough time for them to have returned, so I must not be a priority. close to analogously, as Id decided before, they would come for me at night. The chances of them following me to La Push were much lower than the chance of losing Jacob to Sam.It was worth the danger of the secluded set road. This was no idle visit to see what was going on. I knew what was going on. This was a rescue mission. I was going to talk to Jacob meet innap him if I had to. Id once seen a PBS show on deprogramming the brainwashed. There had to be some kind of cure.I decided Id better call Charlie first. Maybe any(prenominal) was going on down in La Push was something the law of nature should be involved in. I dashed inside, in a further to be on my way.Charlie answered the phone it the station himself.Chief Swan.Dad, its Bella.Whats wrong?I couldnt signal with his doomsday assumption this time. My divisio n was shaking.Im worried nigh Jacob.why? he asked, surprised by the unexpected topic.I return I think something weird is going on down at the reservation. Jacob told me roughly some strange stuff happening with the other boys his age. Now hes playing the similar way and Im scared.What kind of stuff? He used his professional, police business theatrical role. That was good he was taking me seriously.First he was scared, and because he was avoiding me, and now Im afraid hes part of that bizarre gang down there, Sams gang. Sam Uleys gang.Sam Uley? Charlie repeated, surprised again.Yes.Charlies component was more relaxed when he answered. I think youve got it wrong, Bells. Sam Uley is a great kid. Well, hes a man now. A good son. You should hear Billy talk about him. Hes really doing wonders with the jejuneness on the reservation. Hes the one who Charlie broke glowering mid-sentence, and I guessed that he had been about to make a reference to the night Id gotten lost in the wo ods. I moved on rapidly.Dad, its not like that. Jacob was scared ofhim.Did you talk to Billy about this? He was trying to soothe me now. Id lost him as soon as Id mentioned Sam.Billys not concerned.Well, Bella, consequently(prenominal) Im authoritative its okay. Jacobs a kid he was probably just messing around. Im sure hes fine. He cant spend every vigilant minute with you, after all.This isnt about me, I insisted, but the battle was lost.I dont think you need to worry about this. Let Billy final payment care of Jacob.Charlie My articulation was beginning to sound whiney.Bells, I got a lot on my plate adept now. Two tourists have gone miss off a trail outside crescent lake. There was an dying(predicate) edge to his voice. This wolf problem is getting out of hand.I was momently distractedstunned, reallyby his news. There was no way the wolves could have survived a match-up with Laurent ar you sure thats what happened to them? I asked.Afraid so, honey. There was He hesitat ed. There were tracks again, and some blood this time.Oh It must not have come to a confrontation, then. Laurent must have simply outrun the wolves, but why? What Id seen in the hayfield just got stranger and strangermore impossible to empathise.Look, I really have to go. Dont worry about Jake, Bella. Im sure its nothing.Fine, I say curtly, frustrated as his language prompted me of the more urgent crisis at hand. Bye. I hang up.I stared at the phone for a long minute. What the loony bin, I decided.Billy answered after ii rings.Hello?Hey, Billy, I close to growled. I tried to sound more friendly as I continued. stack I talk to Jacob, beguile?Jakes not here.What a shock. Do you write out where he is?Hes out with his friends. Billys voice was on the alert.Oh yeah? Anyone I know? Quil? I could put the language didnt come across as casually as Id meant them to.No, Billy give tongue to slowly. I dont think hes with Quil today.I knew better than to mention Sams name.Embry? I a sked.Billy seemed happier to answer this one. Yeah, hes with Embry.That was enough for me. Embry was one of them.Well, have him call me when he gets in, all discipline?Sure, sure. No problem. Click.See you soon, Billy, I muttered into the dead phone.I drove to La Push determined to wait. Id sit out front of his house all night if I had to. Id miss school. The boy was going to have to come home sometime, and when he did, he was going to have to talk to me.My mind was so preoccupied that the trip Id been terrified of making seemed to command unless a few split seconds. Before I was expecting it, the forest began to thin, and I knew I would soon be able to see the first little houses of the reservation. walkway away, along the left side of the road, was a tall boy with a baseball cap.My breath caught for just a moment in my throat, expectant that luck was with me for once, and Id srumbled across Jacob without hardly trying. But this boy was too wide, and the copper was short neth er the hat. Even from laughingstock, I was sure it was Quil, though he looked big than the wear time Id seen him. What was with these Quileute boys? Were they feeding them experimental growth hormones?I crossed everywhere to the wrong side of the road to stop next to him. He looked up when the roar of my truck approached.Quils expression frightened me more than it surprised me. His face was bleak, brooding, his fore transmit creased with worry.Oh, hey, Bella, he greeted me dully.Hi, Quil argon you okay?He stared at me morosely. Fine.Can I give you a ride someplace? I offered.Sure, I guess, he mumbled. He shuffled around the front of the truck and opened the passenger doorsill to climbin.Where to?My house is on the north side, mainstay behind the coincide on, he told me.Have you seen Jacob today. The question burst from me almost before hed finished speaking.I looked at Quil eagerly, waiting for his answer. He stared out the windshield for a second before he rundle. From a distance, he ultimately said.A distance? I echoed.I tried to follow themhe was with Embry. His voice was low, hard to hear over the engine. I leaned closer. I know they power saw me. But they turned and just disappeared into the tree diagrams. I dont think they were aloneI think Sam and his crew might have been with them.Ive been stumbling around in the forest for an hour, emit for them. I just further found the road again when you drove up.So Sam did get to him. The words were a little distortedmy odontiasis were gritted together.Quil stared at me. You know about that.?I nodded. Jake told me before.Before, Quil repeated, and sighed.Jacobs just as bad as the others now?Never leaves Sams side. Quil turned his judgment and spit out the open window.And before thatdid he avoid everyone? Was he acting upset?His voice was low and rough. non for as long as the others. Maybe one day. Then Sam caught up with him.What do you think it is? Drugs or something?I cant see Jacob or Embry g etting into anything like that but what do I know? What else could it be? And why arent the old people worried? He shook his head, and the fear showed in his eyeball now. Jacob didnt want to be a part of this cult. I dont pull in what could change him. He stared at me, his face frightened. I dont want to be next.My eyes mirrored his fear. That was the second time Id hear it described as a cult. I shivered. Are your parents any help?He grimaced. Right. My grandfathers on the council with Jacobs dad. Sam Uley is the best thing that ever happened to this place, as far as hes concerned.We stared at each other for a prolonged moment. We were in La Push now, and my truck was barely crawling along the empty road. I could see the villages only store not too far ahead.Ill get out now, Quil said. My house is right over there. He gestured toward the small wooden rectangle behind the store. I pulled over to the shoulder, and he jumped out.Im going to go wait for Jacob, I told him in a hard vo ice.Good luck. He slammed the door and shuffled forwards along the road, his head bent forward, his shoulders slumped.Quils face haunted me as I made a wide U-turn and headed back toward the Blacks. He was terrified of being next. What was happening here?I stopped in front of Jacobs house, killing the motor and peal down the windows. It was stuffy today, no breeze. I put my feet up on the dashboard and settled in to wait.A movement flashed in my marginal visionI turned and spotted Billy looking at me through the front window with a confused expression. I waved once and smiled a average smile, but stayed where I was.His eyes narrowed he let the cerement fall across the glass.I was prepared to stay as long as it took, but I wished I had something to do. I dug up a pen out of the bottom of my backpack, and an old test. I started to scribble on the back of the scrap.Id only had time to scrawl one row of diamonds when there was a sharp tap against my door.I jumped, looking up, expe cting Billy.What are you doing here, Bella. Jacob growled.I stared at him in blank astonishment.Jacob had changed radically in the last weeks since Id seen him. The first thing I noticed was his fuzzhis beautiful hair was all gone, cropped quite short, covering his head with an inky gloss like blue satin. The planes of his face seemed to have hardened subtly, tightened aged. His neck and his shoulders were different, too, thicker somehow. His hand, where they gripped the window frame, looked enormous, with the tendons and veins more great(p) under the russet skin. But the physical changes were insignificant.It was his expression that made him almost exclusively unrecognizable. The open, friendly smile was gone like the hair, the warmth in his dark eyes altered to a brooding resentment that was immediately disturbing. There was a darkness in Jacob now. Like my sun had imploded.Jacob? I whispered.He just stared at me, his eyes tense and angry.I realized we werent alone. Behind hi m stood four others all tall and russet-skinned, black hair chop up short just like Jacobs. They could have been brothersI couldnt even pick Embry out of the group. The re glossary was only intensified by the strikingly similar opposition in every pair of eyes.Every pair but one. The oldest by several years, Sam stood in the very back, his face serene and sure. I had to swallow back the bile that rose in my throat. I wanted to take a swing at him. No, I wanted to do more than that. More than anything, I wanted to be fierce and deadly, soulfulness no one would dare mess with. Someone who would scare Sam Uley silly.I wanted to be a vampire.The violent desire caught me off guard and knocked the wind out of me. It was the most forbidden of all wisheseven when I only wished it for a malicious reason like this, to gain an returns over an enemybecause it was the most painful. That future was lost to me forever, had never really been within my grasp. I scrambled to gain control of myse lf tour the hole in my chest ached hollowly.What do you want? Jacob demanded, his expression growing more restless as he watched the play of emotion across my face.I want to talk to you, I said in a weak voice. I tried to focus, but I was still reeling against the escape ofmy taboo trance.Go ahead, he hissed through his teeth. His glare was vicious. Id never seen him look at anyone like that, least of all me. It hurt with a surprising intensitya physical pain, a stabbing in my head.Alone I hissed, and my voice was stronger.He looked behind him, and I knew where his eyes would go. Every one of them was turned for Sams answer.Sam nodded once, his face unperturbed. He made a apprise comment in an unfamiliar, lucid languageI could only be positive that it wasnt French or Spanish, but I guessed that it was Quileute. He turned and walked into Jacobs house. The others, Paul, Jared, and Embry, I assumed, followed him in.Okay. Jacob seemed a bit less raging when the others were gone. His face was a little cool iter, but also more hopeless. His let loose seemed permanently pulled down at the corners.I took a deep breath. You know what I want to know.He didnt answer. He just stared at me bitterly.I stared back and the silence stretched on. The pain in his face unnerved me. I felt a lump beginning to build in my throat.Can we walk? I asked while I could still speak.He didnt react in any way his face didnt change.I got out of the car, feeling unseen eyes behind the windows on me, and started walking toward the trees to the north. My feet squished in the mute grass and mud beside the road, and, as that was the only sound, at first I thought he wasnt following me. But when I glanced around, he was right beside me, his feet having somehow found a less noisy path than mine.I felt better in the fringe of trees, where Sam couldnt possibly be watching. As we walked, I struggled for the right thing to say, but nothing came. I just got more and more angry that Jacob had gotten sucked in that Billy had allowed this that Sam was able to stand there so assured and calmJacob suddenly picked up the pace, striding ahead of me easily with his long legs, and then swinging around to face me, planting himself in my path so I would have to stop too.I was distracted by the overt grace of his movement. Jacob had been nearly as klutzy as me with his never-ending growth spurt. When did that changed?But Jacob didnt give me time to think about it.Lets get this over with, he said in a hard, husky voice.I waited. He knew what I wanted.Its not what you think. His voice was abruptly weary. Its not what I thoughtI was way off.So what is it, then?He studied my face for a long moment, speculating. The anger never completely left his eyes. I cant tell you, he finally said.My jaw tightened, and I spoke through my teeth. I thought we were friends.We were. There was a ignore emphasis on the by departed tense.But you dont need friends anymore, I said sourly. You have Sam. I snt that niceyouve always looked up to him so much.I didnt understand him before.And now youve seen the light. Hallelujah.It wasnt like I thought it was. This isnt Sams fault. Hes helping me as much as he can. His voice turned brittle and he looked over my head, past me, rage burning out from his eyes.Hes helping you, I repeated dubiously. Naturally.But Jacob didnt seem to be listening. He was taking deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking.Jacob, please, I whispered Wont you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help.No one can help me now. The words were a low moan his voice broke.What did he do to you? I demanded, tears collecting in my eyes. I reached out to him, as I had once before, stepping forward with my blazonry wide.This time he cringed away, holding his hands up defensively. Dont touch me, he whispered.Is Sam catching? I mumbled. The stupid tears had escaped the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my ha nd, and folded my arms across my chest.Stop blaming Sam. The words came out fast, like a reflex. His hands reached up to twist around the hair that was no longer there, and then fell limply at his sides.Then who should I blame? I retorted.He halfway smiled it was a bleak, twisted thing.You dont want to hear that.The hell I dont I snapped. I want to know, and I want to know now.Youre wrong, he snapped back.Dont you dare tell me Im wrongIm not the one who got brainwashed assure me now whose fault this all is, if its not your precious SamYou asked for it, he growled at me, eyes glinting hard. If you want to blame someone, why dont you manoeuver your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?My tattle fell open and my breath came out with a whooshing sound. I was stock-still in place, stabbed through with his double-edged words. The pain twisted in familiar patterns through my body, the jagged hole ripping me open from the inside out, but it was second place , back underfur music to the chaos of my thoughts. I couldnt believe that Id perceive him correctly. There was no trace of indecision in his face. Only fury.My mouthpiece still hung wide.I told you that you didnt want to hear it, he said.I dont understand who you mean, I whispered.He raised one eyebrow in disbelief. I think you understand exactly who I mean. Youre not going to make me say it, are you? I dont like hurting you.I dont understand who you mean, I repeated mechanically.The Cullens, he said slowly, drawing out the word, scrutinizing my face as he spoke it. I saw thatI can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name.I shook my head back and forth in denial, trying to clear it at the same time. How did he know this? And how did it have anything to do with Sams cult? Was it a gang of vampire-haters? What was the point of forming such a society when no vampires lived in Forks anymore? wherefore would Jacob start believing the stories about the Cullens now, wh en the evidence of them was long gone, never to return?It took me too long to come up with the correct response. Dont tell me youre listening to Billys superstitious nonsense now, I said with a light attempt at mockery.He knows more than I gave him credit for.Be serious, Jacob.He glared at me, his eyes critical.Superstitions aside, I said quickly. I still dont see what youre accusing the Cullenswinceof. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?Sam isnt doing anything, Bella. And I know theyre gone. But sometimes things are set in motion, and then its too late.Whats set in motion? Whats too late? What are you blaming them for?He was suddenly right in my face, his fury glowing in his eyes. For existing, he hissed.I was surprised and distracted as the warning words came in Edwards voice again, when I wasnt even scared.Quiet now, Bella. Dont push him, Edward cautioned in my ear.Ever since Edwards name had disordered through the careful wall s Id buried it behind, Id been ineffective to lock it up again. It didnt hurt nownot during the precious seconds when I could hear his voice.Jacob was fuming in front of me, quivering with anger.I didnt understand why the Edward delusion was unexpectedly in my mind. Jacob was livid, but he was Jacob. There was no adrenaline, no danger. make urine him a chance to calm down, Edwards voice insisted.I shook my head in confusion. Youre being ridiculous, I told them both.Fine, Jacob answered, breathing deeply again. I wont argue it with you. It doesnt matter anyway, thedamage is done.What damage?He didnt flinch as I shouted the words in his face.Lets head back. Theres nothing more to say.I gaped. Theres everything more to say You havent said anything yetHe walked past me, striding back toward the house.I ran into Quil today, I yelled after him.He paused midstep, but didnt turn.You find your friend, Quil? Yeah, hes terrified.Jacob whirled to face me. His expression was pained. Quil wa s all he said.Hes worried about you, too. Hes freaked out.Jacob stared past me with desperate eyes.I goaded him further. Hes frightened that hes next.Jacob clutched at a tree for support, his face turning a strange shade of green under the red-brown surface. He wont be next, Jacob muttered to himself. He cant be. Its over now. This shouldnt still be happening. Why? Why? His fist slammed against the tree. It wasnt a big tree, slender and only a few feet taller than Jacob. But it still surprised me when tht trunk gave way and snapped off loudly under his blows.Jacob stared at the sharp, broken point with shock that quickly turned to horror.I have to get back. He whirled and stalked away so swiftly that I had to jog to keep up.Back to SamThats one way of looking at it, it sounded like he said. He was mumbling and facing away.I chased him back to the truck. Wait I called as he turned toward the house.He spun around to face me, and I saw that his hands were shaking again.Go home, Bella. I cant hang out with you anymore.The silly, inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent. The tears welled up again. Are you breakout up with me? The words were all wrong, but they were the best way I could think to phrase what I was asking. After all, what Jake and I had was more than any schoolyard romance. Stronger.He barked out a bitter laugh. Hardly. If that were the case, Id say Lets stay friends. I cant even say that.Jacob why? Sam wont let you have other friends? Please, Jake. You promised. I need you The blank emptiness of my life beforebefore Jacob brought some semblance of reason back into itreared up and confronted me. Loneliness choked in my throat.Im sorry, Bella, Jacob said each word distinctly in a cold voice that didnt seem to belong to him.I didnt believe that this was really what Jacob wanted to say. It seemed like there was something else trying to be said through his angry eyes, but I couldnt understand the message.Maybe this wasnt about Sam at all. Maybe this ha d nothing to do with the Cullens. Maybe he was just trying to pull himself out of a hopeless situation. Maybe I should let him do that, if thats what was best for him. I should do that. It would be right.But I heard my voice escaping in a whisper.Im sorry that I couldnt before I wish I could change how I feel about you, Jacob. I was desperate, reaching, stretching the truth so far that it curved nearly into the modulate of a lie. Maybe maybe I would change, I whispered. Maybe, if you gave me some time just dont quit on me now, Jake. I cant take it.His face went from anger to agony in a second. One shaking hand reached out toward me.No. Dont think like that, Bella, please. Dont blame yourself, dont think this is your fault. This one is all me. I swear, its not about you.Its not you, its me, I whispered. Theres a new one.I mean it, Bella. Im not he struggled, his voice going even huskier as he fought to control his emotion. His eyes were tortured. Im not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. Im not what I was before. Im not good.What? I stared at him, confused and appalled. What are you saying? Youre much better than I am, Jake. You are good Who told you that you arent? Sam? Its a vicious lie, Jacob Dont let him tell you that I was suddenly yelling again.Jacobs face went hard and flat. No one had to tell me anything. I know what I am.Youre my friend, thats what you are JakedontHe was backing away from me.Im sorry, Bella, he said again this time it was a broken mumble. He turned and almost ran into the house.I was unable to move from where I stood. I stared at the little house it looked too small to hold four large boys and two larger men. There was no reaction inside. No flutter at the edge of the curtain, no sound of voices or movement. It faced me vacantly.The rain started to drizzle, stinging here and there against my skin. I couldnt take my eyes off the house. Jacob would come back. He had to.The rain picked up, and so did the wind. The drops were no longer falling from above they slanted at an angle from the west. I could smell the brine from the ocean. My hair whipped in my face, sticking to the wet places and tangling in my lashes. I waited.Finally the door opened, and I took a step forward in relief.Billy rolled his chair into the door frame. I could see no one behind him.Charlie just called, Bella. I told him you were on your way home. His eyes were full of pity.The pity made it final somehow. I didnt comment. I just turned robotically and climbed in my truck. Id left the windows open and the seats were pat and wet. It didnt matter. I was already soaked.Not as bad Not as bad my mind tried to comfort me. It was true. This wasnt as bad. This wasnt the end of the world, not again. This was just the end of what little peace there was left behind. That was all.Not as bad, I agreed, then added, but bad enough.Id thought Jake had been heal the hole in meor at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much . Id been wrong. Hed just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like Swiss cheese. I wondered why I didnt crumble into pieces.Charlie was waiting on the porch. As I rolled to a stop, he walked out to meet me.Billy called. He said you got in fight with Jakesaid you were pretty upset, he explained as he opened my door for me.Then he looked at my face. A kind of horrified information registered in his expression. I tried to feel my face from the inside out, to know what he was seeing. My face felt empty and cold, and I realized what it would propel him of.Thats not exactly how it happened, I muttered.Charlie put his arm around me and helped me out of the car. He didnt comment on my sodden clothes.Then what did happen he asked when we were inside. He pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa as he spoke and wrapped it around my shoulders. I realized I was shivering still.My voice was lifeless. Sam Uley says Jacob cant be my friend anymore.Charlie shot me a strange look. Who told you that?Jacob, I stated, though that wasnt exactly what hed said. It was still true.Charlies eyebrows pulled together. You really think theres something wrong with the Uley kid?I know there is. Jacob wouldnt tell me what, though. I could hear the water from my clothes dripping to the floor and splashing on the linoleum. Im going to go change.Charlie was lost in thought. Okay, he said absently.I decided to take a shower because I was so cold, but the hot water didnt seem to affect the temperature of my skin. I was still freezing when I gave up and shut the water off. In the sudden softly, I could hear Charlie public lecture to someone downstairs. I wrapped a towel around me, and loopy the bathroom door.Charlies voice was angry. Im not buying that. It doesnt make any sense.It was quiet then, and I realized he was on the phone. A minute passed.Dont you put this on Bella Charlie suddenly shouted.I jumped. When he spoke again, his voice was careful and lower. B ellas made it very clear all along thatshe and Jacob were just friends Well, if that was it, then why didnt you say so at first? No, Billy, I think shes right about this Because I know my daughter, and if she says Jacob was scared before He was cut off mid-sentence, and when he answered he was almost shouting again.What do you mean I dont know my daughter as well as I think I do He listened for a brief second, and his response was almost too low for me to hear. If you think Im going to remind her about that, then you had better think again. Shes only just starting to get over it, and mostly because of Jacob, I think. If whatever Jacob has going on with this Sam character sends her back into that depression, then Jacob is going to have to answer to me. Youre my friend, Billy, but this is hurting my family.There was another break for Billy to respond.You got that rightthose boys set one toe out of line and Im going to know about it. Well be keeping an eye on the situation, you can be sure of that. He was no longer Charlie he was Chief Swan now.Fine. Yeah. Goodbye. The phone slammed into the cradle.I tiptoed quickly across the hall into my room. Charlie was muttering angrily in the kitchen.So Billy was going to blame me. I was leading Jacob on and hed finally had enough.It was strange, for Id feared that myself, but after the last thing Jacob had said this afternoon, I didnt believe it anymore. There was much more to this than an unrequited crush, and it surprised me that Billy would stoop to claiming that. It made me think that whatever secret they were keeping was bigger than Id been imagining. At least Charlie was on my side now.I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed. Life seemed dark enough at the moment chat I let myself cheat. The holeholes nowwere already aching, so why not? I pulled out the memorynor a real memory that would hurt too much, but the fictitious memory of Edwards voice in my mind this afternoonand played it over and over in my head until I fell asleep with the tears still streaming calmly down my empty face.It was a new dream tonight. Rain was falling and Jacob was walking soundlessly beside me, though beneath my feet the ground crunched like dry gravel. But he wasnt my Jacob he was the new, bitter, graceful Jacob. The still suppleness of his walk reminded me of someone else, and, as I watched, his features started to change. The russet glossiness of his skin leached away, leaving his face pale white like bone. His eyes turned gold, and then crimson, and then back to gold again. His shorn hair twisted in the breeze, turning bronze where the wind touched it. And his face became so beautiful that it shattered my heart. I reached for him, but he took a step away, raising his hands like a shield. And then Edward vanished.I wasnt sure, when I woke in the dark, if Id just begun crying, or if my tears had run while I slept and simply continued now. I stared at my dark ceiling. I could feel that it was the middle of the ni ghtI was still half-asleep, maybe more than half. I unkindly my eyes wearily and prayed for a dreamless sleep.Thats when I heard the dissonance that must have wakened me in the first place. Something sharp scraped along the duration of my window with a high-pitched squeal, like fingernails against the glass.